The Golden Child's 1st Birthday!!!

I Am … bMe ™

Friday, June 12, 2009

MidnightWheaton, MD

THE GOLDEN CHILDS 1st Birthday!!!

It’s funny because I just saw my baby boy last week for the Lady Diva Honor. He flew to DC with my mama and baby brother, yet today when I look at him, he seems so much older maybe because it is his one year old birthday.

Twenty-one months ago nobody could have expressed to me how much pride I would feel on this day. I love this little boy!It’s kind of weird because at times I don’t even view myself as someone’s mother. I remember just hours after his birth this day last year, the nurse brought me all kinds of paperwork and told me that the parents have to sign off on it. I looked at her, took the papers and started to hand them over to MY mother, then I realized that the nurse meant me.

Sometimes, I still feel like handing things over to my mama and I still do. Without my mother PJ would not have the things that he has. She has truly stepped to the Grandma plate and has done everything in her power to assure that her grandbaby has everything he needs to survive on planet earth. That’s why today is not just a celebration for PJ, but a celebration to his grandmother, affectionately known as his EMEE.

It’s hard being a single mom. I live in Washington D.C. which is miles away from my family in St. Louis, a place I will always call home. Living in D.C. with PJ all by myself is HARD. We are really all we’ve got. Sometimes I cry (but not in front of PJ) because I don’t know where his diapers are going to come from. There were days when I would not eat just so that I could put gas in the truck to take him to daycare before I went to school. I ended up dropping out that semester because PJ and school became too much. Despite what my mother thinks, I don’t like to ask her for EVERYTHING because it is not her responsibility.

I have some family and friends that live on the east coast and help from time to time, but there is no place like home. That’s why today PJ we are going to celebrate the 1st year of your life at HOME.Once again, without his EMEE, PJ would simply have to do without.

She solely financed the majority of PJ’s necessities for this grand event. The only thing I could afford were the decorations (which were fantastic by the way). But all of that truly did not matter! PJ had all of his family and friends there to celebrate his first of many birthdays.Holding my son as we sang Happy Birthday brought both a joyful and sad feeling over me. This time last year you could not tell me that I would be singing this song to PJ as a single mother.

I just knew that PJ’s father and me would have accomplished much more together as a family. But things don’t always happen as you may plan. I hurt for PJ that his father could not be by his side at his first birthday party. But the look in my son’s eyes when we all sang in unison flushed all of the bad thoughts out the window. He was sooo excited to hear the harmony being directed at him. It was definitely a moment for the books.

Peter James Jackson, Mommy loves you NO matter what—always and forever! You are the GOLDEN CHILD…Happy 1st Birthday to my little prince!I AM…bMe.